I think about you every night.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL