its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with