your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
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No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
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Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!