i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help