Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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