you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
