I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
