I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize