she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
