Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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