everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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