I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize