$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I look better un-naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
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don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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