I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We are all done wearing pants today
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
