I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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