You're completely useless in the revolution.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
