Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My dick has a subreddit
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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