Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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