I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I am midnight drunk by noon
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
