Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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