Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
