the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize