were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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