Do you still have your period?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
