Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
