what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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