hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
