Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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