Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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