it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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