Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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