dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
