It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
