THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
