Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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