i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
