it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Please, let me fuck your mom
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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