ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
