She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
