I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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