please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
