i may or may not be watching the land before time
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize