Just fell off a train. Bad.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
