Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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