your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
