They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize