I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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