now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
