My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
