All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
