P.S. I can't hear my feet
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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