So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
