At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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