fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize