Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize