Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We are two peas in an std pod
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
